


Made to Stand Alone

by Allekha



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-Canon, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allekha/pseuds/Allekha
Summary: Watching the men compete at NHK Trophy one night, Georgi discovers a newly senior skater from Japan - Yuuri, who skates beautifully and from the soul - and finds his heart pulled into a doomed love.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Georgi Popovich
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25
Collections: Rare Ships!!! on BINGO 2020





	Made to Stand Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Rare Ships on Bingo squares: Georgi/Yuuri + melancholy

GP season was in high swing, and while Georgi didn't always have the time and energy to watch every week's event, he'd found enough of both to watch the last day of NHK today, hoping his friends there had done well. The ladies were lovely, the pairs daring, the ice dancers graceful – and he had to keep up with his own competition, of course.

It was getting late, so he decided just to watch the second group of the men's free skate and call it a day. There were two Russian men – one of whom Georgi liked for his unusual style and his thoughtfulness when Georgi showed him his poetry, and the other of whom was hated by Georgi's whole training group because he'd been rude to Yakov once. Georgi frowned at him when he was announced on principle, even though the event itself had ended hours ago.

There was also an Italian guy – he was kind of cool – an American – kind of boring – a Japanese skater who Georgi knew, and a Japanese skater he'd never heard of before. Judging by the age that flashed on the screen, he might have just come out of juniors. Georgi instantly felt sorry for him, because the poor guy looked like was about to shake apart on the ice.

During the warmup, he popped an axel into a single and then took a tumble on the landing anyway. Georgi winced, but the man – Yuuri Katsuki, the announcer was saying – got up anyway like nothing had happened, except for the expression of dread on his face.

It turned out he was first to go. Georgi prepared himself for a program full of spills; if it got too painful to watch, he told himself he could always jump ahead on the recording. Yuuri spent a long time talking with his coach before he went, and only darted out at the last second to take his place. Not in the center, but closer to one end of the arena. Interesting choice. Georgi approved of it.

The music started off slowly, and so did Yuuri. His blades flashed above the ice as he went through his opening movements, shifting into an arabesque, his hands floating in the air. Georgi immediately pegged him as the artistic type. Whoever this Yuuri guy was, he had grace. And in the tilt of his head, the deliberate bend of his fingers, Georgi sensed that he was the kind who didn't only go through the motions when it came to choreography.

Yuuri's nervous look came back for a split second as he set up his first jump, but he wiped it away, and then he went for it – quad toe, wonky angle in the air and a series of turns on the landing. At least he kept his balance.

By the end of the program, though, Georgi was barely noticing anything about the jumps. Far more important was Yuuri's obvious depth of feeling in every gesture and his atunement to the music, from melancholy at the beginning to hopeful at the end. He used his hands and his gaze; he was light on his feet in the step sequence that ended his program, every turn and twizzle right where it should have been. He used his whole body to expression the change in mood, and by the last few notes, he looked like he was about to float up off the ice.

Yuuri looked like he wanted to cry after he finished the mostly clean performance. Georgi already knew enough to feel proud of him. At least, until he saw the scores.

"What the hell," he murmured aloud. The judges were _blind_ if they were only giving him that much in PCS.

But Yuuri seemed happy with it – happily confused, even – and after half the men in the group failed to stay on their feet, it was enough to earn him a bronze medal.

Afterward, knowing he really should go to bed (Yakov was going to be giving him _looks_ tomorrow every time he yawned), Georgi looked up Yuuri. He _was_ a new senior, having medaled at junior Worlds last season. Those programs were slightly less refined – he'd progressed even just since then – but Georgi could see the same promise in them.

Georgi knew it wasn't enough to simply plaster on a smile. A crowd-winning performance had to _mean_ something; it had to spring forth from something true in the soul. Yuuri understood that. He could see it in the way he skated.

Yuuri was also shy in interviews, had an adorable puppy, and liked roses more than other flowers. He'd bombed his Skater America placement, and had overcome that this week. Georgi watched a short interview – he couldn't understand the Japanese, but there was something charming about how he alternated between ducking his head and regaining his confidence to the point where he almost shouted.

The website suggested another interview. Georgi glanced at the clock on his screen and winced. One more video about this lovely new skater he'd discovered, he told himself. They might be competing against each other day, in a season or few. He was gathering intel on a possible rival!

This interview was older and in English. Georgi's English wasn't that great, but he could understand well enough when the interviewer asked Yuuri what he liked to do off the ice.

"Um," said Yuuri, and then he'd smiled sweetly and said, "I like to dance. I do ballet and try other ones. It's fun and really, ah... you can express yourself any way you want."

Georgi was terribly tired at practice the next morning until the caffeine started to kick in. It was worth it. His heart was officially _taken_.

~!~

Georgi didn't tell anyone about his new crush. Victor and his other rink mates wouldn't have been interested; Yakov wouldn't have taken him seriously. Georgi could just imagine his voice saying _you haven't even met him!_ , which was true.

But Georgi didn't need to meet Yuuri to feel a connection to him. Not when he felt elated watching Yuuri take silver at his Nationals, or devastated watching him fall to pieces at Four Continents. Not when he could rewatch his programs every week and find new details – the way he glanced to the side in his Ina Bauer, the changing angle in his wrist during the opening of his short program, a tiny hop on the beat on his way to a real jump.

His short program was set to Russian music, and it was fun and energetic. But Georgi loved the delicacy of his free skate even more. It was a story he had known himself, watching Victor win and win and win before he had decided on his own path. He wondered what exactly it meant to Yuuri. His career had been ups and downs, terrible placements and medal wins, so it was probably a wish for him to be able to leave behind those losses and become a steady contender for medals. Georgi understood that feeling.

On the plane to Worlds, Georgi was ready to finally talk to Yuuri. He had to at least say hello to the man who had captured his heart so this season. There was only one problem.

He knew by now that the idea of romance between them was mostly likely doomed.

There was an entire continent that cruelly separated them. Georgi knew he couldn't do a long-distance relationship, having found it unbearable the one time he had tried. He could hardly leave Yakov without leaving behind his career – Yakov understood him so well! The coaches he'd had before him hadn't, and even now, Yakov's influence was a helpful asset to making sure Georgi stayed noticed. And not only was it unfair to demand that Yuuri leave his coaching team when he couldn't even contemplate the same, he had tried showing a video of him to Yakov once.

Yakov had been impressed, sure. In a 'nice that Japan has new talent' sort of way. Not in a 'wow, he's amazing and I wish he was my student' kind of way. Georgi had tried not to show too much of his disappointment in how even Yakov hadn't quite seen what he did every time Yuuri skated.

Perhaps Yuuri would return his feelings. And if so, they would persevere and find a way around the challenges set between them. But if not... Georgi knew he had to be the noble one. He would let his feelings be known and let Yuuri go on, a free bird rising above the flock of mediocre skaters, a swan dancing among the ducks and waiting to be seen.

At least luck was with him. Georgi stayed behind in the hotel lobby after they checked in to chat with a woman he knew, and when he finally headed for the elevators, there was only one other person waiting: Yuuri.

Georgi's heart started to beat hard and loud in his chest. This was it. "Hello," he said.

Yuuri jumped. "Oh, uh, hi."

Georgi gave him a smile, letting out some of the light shining inside of him now that he was finally talking with his secret love. "You're Yuuri, right? Your programs are really beautiful this year."

"Thanks," Yuuri said, ducking his head. The elevator dinged, and they both hauled their suitcases in. "Um, yours too. Especially with the," and he imitated a gesture from Georgi's short program.

His heart skipped a beat or three. He'd been the one to add that gesture, not the choreographer. Yuuri had been watching him. He'd picked up on it! Hope fluttered in his stomach.

"Thank you," he said. "I'm about to have dinner with some of the others. Do you want to come?"

Yuuri hesitated. Georgi willed his heart not to sink and buoyed it up with the idea that Yuuri might have only been tired from his flight. "Others?" Yuuri asked, fiddling with his suitcase.

Right. He was a Victor fan (like everyone else on the planet). Either he was hopeful or he was nervous at the idea of Victor being there, too. Thankfully for Georgi, that was not in the cards. He named the other skaters – a few singles men, a couple of ice dancers.

"Okay," Yuuri said. He still seemed down as he said it, but he showed up in the lobby a few minutes later all the same.

Hope flared even brighter for Georgi; perhaps this truly was his chance, and he and Yuuri would somehow overcome the stretch of land and sea that lay between them to unite as one.

But hope, alas, was a fragile thing, and as the dinner wore on and Yuuri struck up conversations with one of the other men, and then another – as Georgi tried and failed to strike up one with him – he could feel his mood becoming bleaker.

Perhaps, if Yuuri had been in Russia, if they'd had more time together than the short and busy days of a competition, if he'd been more confident of a way to bring them together into one ice arena. Perhaps....

But at practice the next day, Yuuri barely looked at him. And Georgi knew then that his feelings were ill-fated, and he cursed his wretched heart that wanted what it could not have, and he knew what he needed to do.

Before the free skate, he swore one of his ice dancer friends to secrecy and gave her two things: a single red rose, wrapped in plastic, that she was to throw after Yuuri's program, and a sealed note to deliver to the gifts table. Georgi had done his best with the English, writing in his prettiest letters; he hadn't signed it. Yuuri didn't need to know whose feelings they were to know that someone had felt them for him. Better not to burden him with the knowledge of who he had unwittingly scorned. Georgi could be more gracious than that.

Yuuri was ahead of him in the groups, and Georgi was still warming up in his sneakers backstage when it was Yuuri's turn to go on. Georgi watched closely, remembering to make some movements so Yakov wouldn't yell at him.

It wasn't a perfect performance – his nerves were clearly getting to him – but he rescued the second half and ended on a lovely note, his hand reaching for the skies, for the stars, for his future. Georgi closed his eyes to sound of the cheering and told himself that he was letting go; fate was taking them apart, and he couldn't fight the course of destiny.

A single red rose fell in front of Yuuri as he was skating to the exit, and he slowed down. Stopped. Picked it up, then picked up the sushi plushie next to it. Georgi would have to commend his friend on her aim later, but for the moment his eyes were misty.

He sniffled and wiped away a tear. Yakov gave him a strange look, but didn't ask. Things like that were what made him such a great coach. Georgi had a lot of emotions sometimes, and Yakov let him have them.

Then it was time to get ready for his own performance, time to tell his own story and hope that Yuuri could see something in it the way Georgi had seen so much in his.

~!~

At the banquet, Georgi said hello to his friends and smiled when people congratulated him on bronze – it had been a tight fight for the podium, and he had been the one to make it, if only on to the third step. There was always next year.

Then he found Yuuri standing alone in a corner, and he could hardly leave him there with no company, could he? He went over and said, "Hi."

"Hi," Yuuri said back, and he shuffled over enough that Georgi could join him. "Congratulations."

"Thanks." He wanted so badly to ask if Yuuri had read his confession yet, but he restrained himself for nobility's sake. "You picked interesting gala music," he said. It was different from the exhibition he had skated earlier in the season. Quieter. It suited him well, and like all his programs, there was feeling in almost every moment of it.

Yuuri mumbled another thanks and downed the rest of his glass. Georgi desperately searched for a way to escape both the awkwardness of the conversation and the growing despair in his chest, and his gaze settled upon the dance floor. "You like to dance, right?"

His knowledge of Yuuri had led him to chose well, since Yuuri perked up at that. "Yes," he said. "It's fun."

"And a good way to express your feelings."

Yuuri nodded, and Georgi thought he saw something spark in his eyes.

They left the corner together for the dance floor, and they danced with each other and the other skaters, and if by the end of the banquet, Georgi hadn't yet managed to completely let Yuuri go, at least his heart was lighter for this one night.


End file.
